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Dear Kristi, I’m going to loan you Patience…

By Rebecca | March 29, 2009

Kristi,  you are my sister by marriage.  I am worried about you and I have a lot to say to you.  The problem is, well, we’re sort of bad about calling all around.  And when I call, I feel like I should listen rather than talk.

However, I know what it’s like to be too sick to care for your family.  It seems sometimes as though this trial will never end.  You probably have doubts about whether this illness will ever get better.  It may be that this trial will shadow the rest of your life but it will not always be the all-consuming burden that it is right now.

The first thing you need to do is to realize that there are times, and this is one of them, where it is in the best interest of your family for you to make taking care of yourself a priority.  Feeling guilty for not being able to care for your babies, only makes the road to recovery harder and more difficult.  Let go of the guilt.  The love and sacrifice made by Jesus Christ covers not only those times we do things wrong, but those times when life is just not perfect.  Your children will not suffer permenantly because of the things you cannot do right now or in the future.  If anything, they will be more kind and thoughtful and independent because they had a mother who depended on them as much as they depended on her.

Second of all, have patience.  (This is really hard.)

When I was hospitalized with morning sickness during my last pregnancy, my in-laws brought me a stuffed penguin with a yellow beak and a bright orange and yellow bow around its neck.  It was meant to brighten up my drab surroundings.  In the days that followed, I often looked at the goofy penguin with its vibrant accessories. 

I tried to be philisophical about my illness but mostly I just wanted to go home and take care of my son and my husband.  Instead, I continued to be sick.  Too sick to do anything but lie in bed and wait for the medicine to kick in and put me to sleep.  Again.

One day, when I was struggling through a period of agonizing conciousness, I became frustrated.  With no one else to talk with, I turned to my dopey penguin and abruptly informed it, “I am tired of being patient.  I don’t want to be patient anymore.  I am going to name you Patience and you can be patient for me.  It’s your job to be patient now so that I don’t have to.”  The penguin’s expression did not change.  It continued to look at me with a dopey smile on its face.  And just like the bagpipe in Shel Silversteen’s poem, the penguin didn’t say no.

So I didn’t have to be patient anymore.  Every time I found myself getting frustrated and wishing for the ordeal to end I would remember, “I have Patience.  She is being patient for me.  I don’t have to worry about being patient.”

Then I would turn my thoughts to those things that I could do.  Sometimes I read or did crafts.  Mostly, I indulged in watching television or movies that I hadn’t had time to watch before–because mostly that is all I was able to do.  And slowly the days passed.

I was released from the hospital and eventually things got better.  Of course, I had problems throughout the pregnancy and side effects that persist to this day.  But I learned that the Lord never leaves us.  And in those moments when we are in our greatest agony are the moments when we can come to know him best.  It is then that we can feel his loving arms support and lift us through our most painful trials.

I am reminded of this every time I look at Patience, my faithful penguin, and I know that our hard times do not last forever, even though it may feel like it.  I think that you need her now more than I do.  So I will lend you Patience.  I have asked her to be patient for you whenever you need it.  And she is smiling and she definitely didn’t say no.

Topics: Advice, Attitude, Blessings, Family, Health, Sisters, Testimony, Women |

One Response to “Dear Kristi, I’m going to loan you Patience…”

  1. wayne Says:
    October 27th, 2014 at 1:19 am” rel=”nofollow”>.…